Introduction: Why the Science Matters

When it comes to quitting porn, I’ve often made the case that the spiritual component is the most important. But what about the science? Do you really need to know what’s happening neurochemically in your brain in order to quit?

For me, and for many other men who have broken free - the answer is yes. Scientific knowledge gave me critical insight into:

• What porn was doing to my brain
• Why quitting felt so brutal at first
• And what I stood to gain if I stuck it out

In this post, I’ll share both my personal journey and the neuroscience concepts that helped me finally quit porn for good.

What Withdrawal From Porn Really Feels Like

When I was a sophomore in high school, I decided to take my Catholic faith more seriously and give up porn and masturbation for Lent.

At first, things went surprisingly well. I fought cravings, but I kept my streak. Then, around the one-month mark, everything fell apart.

• I was irritable and depressed.
• I had constant anxiety.
• Nothing felt pleasurable anymore.
• My sleep was disrupted and cravings spiked.

Eventually, I relapsed. And the moment I did? All those symptoms vanished. I even laughed out loud because of how much better I felt.

At that moment, I drew two conclusions that caused me a lot of pain later:

1. My body needed sexual release to be normal.
2. If the Church was wrong about this, maybe it was wrong about a lot of other things too.

I carried those beliefs for years - but the truth is, what I was experiencing wasn’t proof that I needed porn. It was withdrawal, the same way a drug addict feels when their substance is taken away. (Hilton & Watts, 2011)

How Porn Hijacked My Productivity

Fast forward to 2013. I had just quit my software engineering job to pursue life coaching. I had the passion and the knowledge - but I couldn’t focus.

Instead of building my business, I fell into a cycle:

• Work for 45 minutes
• Get stressed and overwhelmed
• Use porn to “reset”
• Feel lethargic, waste the rest of the day on video games
• Use porn again at night to calm myself down

I tried every self-improvement trick in the book: affirmations, meditation, productivity hacks. None of it worked. I’d end the day staring in the mirror, cussing myself out for wasting another one.

To make matters worse, I was hiding everything from my girlfriend and her parents, who were generously letting me stay with them. I even set up my desk with a “rear-view” mirror so I wouldn’t get caught. The shame was crushing.

When I almost got caught one night, I realized how much I was risking. That same night, for the first time in years, I prayed.

The very next day, I stumbled onto the NoFap community and Gary Wilson’s Your Brain on Porn - and everything clicked. (Gary was a hero to me, you can see my tribute video to him here)

The Science That Finally Explained My Struggle

Gary Wilson explained how porn addiction hijacks the brain’s reward system in ways similar to drugs like cocaine. Porn floods the brain with dopamine and causes real neurological changes. (Surgical Neurology International, 2011)

This was a breakthrough because it meant:

• The “dark cloud” I felt when quitting wasn’t normal life - it was withdrawal.
• Porn wasn’t harmless; it was reprogramming my brain.
• If the brain could change negatively, it could also heal positively.

Key Brain Changes Caused by Porn Addiction

1. Hypofrontality: Weakened Self-Control

Hypofrontality means reduced activity in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that governs discipline, focus, and impulse control.

When porn reduces activity in this region, users become more:

• Impulsive
• Short-term focused
• Emotionally unstable
• Susceptible to other addictions

This explained why I couldn’t focus on building my business, no matter how much I wanted to. My executive center was compromised. (Brand et al., 2019)

2. Delta FosB: The Addiction “Memory”

ΔFosB is a protein that accumulates in the brain’s reward circuitry after repeated exposure to addictive stimuli. It lingers for weeks or months, making habits more compulsive.

• Sensitization: Porn cues become hyper-rewarding.
• Desensitization: Normal life feels dull by comparison.
• Cravings: You “want” porn even after the pleasure fades.

Think of ΔFosB like wet cement for habits. Every session leaves a footprint that makes relapse more likely until the pathway is broken. (Nestler, 2008)

3. Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction

Porn conditions the brain to respond to screens instead of real partners. This has led to skyrocketing rates of erectile dysfunction (ED) among young men.

• Before 1990, only 2-3% of men under 40 reported ED.
• Recent studies show 20-35% of men under 40 now experience it. (Jha, 2022)

Other issues include delayed ejaculation, low desire for real sex, and escalating fetishes that don’t reflect natural attraction.

Why Porn Is So Abnormally Potent

One of the most eye-opening concepts I learned is the Coolidge Effect: male brains are wired to respond strongly to novelty.

With porn, you can expose yourself to more novel “mates” in an hour than our ancestors would have seen in a lifetime. The brain isn’t designed to handle this, which is why quitting feels so hard - and why compassion for yourself is crucial.

How the Brain Heals: The Reboot

The most hopeful part of the science is neuroplasticity: the brain can change back.

By abstaining from porn - often called a reboot - you allow your prefrontal cortex to recover, ΔFosB levels to fall, and natural sexual function to return.

Supporting strategies include:

• Exercise (strengthens dopamine and executive function)
• Mindfulness / prayer (improves emotional regulation)
• Healthy sleep & diet (critical for brain repair)
• Accountability & community (reduces relapse risk)

My Recovery and Life Today

Armed with the science, a supportive community, and a renewed faith, I finally broke free.

• My productivity skyrocketed.
• My mood stabilized.
• My natural sexuality returned.
• I got married, built a coaching business, and started helping other men quit porn.

Over a decade later, I’m still clean, still married, and thriving more than I ever thought possible.

FAQs

Does porn really change your brain?
Yes. Multiple brain imaging studies show structural and functional changes in heavy porn users, particularly in reward and executive systems.

How long does it take to heal from porn addiction?
It varies. Some men notice improvements in weeks, while others need months or longer. The Typical recommendation is at least 90 days clean to see significant results.

Can erectile dysfunction or other sexual issues caused by porn go away?
Yes. Many men recover normal function after a period of abstinence and healthy sexual reintegration.

Final Thoughts

Spiritual growth is vital, but understanding the science gave me the map to escape. Porn addiction hijacks the brain, but recovery is possible. With knowledge, community, and faith, you can quit porn and rebuild your life.

Exercise for this Lesson

To help drive home this lesson, here are a few steps you can take to solidify your understanding:

1) Review the Science

Here's the original Gary Wilson Tedx Talk that changed everything for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

I'd also highly recommend checking out his website at www.yourbrainonporn.com

This page has a summary of all the main points with more sources.

He also has a fantastic book to buy for yourself or other people you care about.

There are plenty of good other resources out there, but you need to be careful. There's a bunch of very bad "scientific research" out there funded by porn companies designed to make porn seem healthy. It's similar to how the tobacco companies used to bribe doctors and scientists into saying smoking was healthy.

2) Review the Success Stories

YourBrainOnPorn.com also has a ton of very powerful success stories you can view by clicking here.

Reading these in my early days of recovery did a tremendous amount to bolster my confidence and commitment to see this process through.